July 17, 2013
Nation Completely Outraged By Latest Thing In The News That’ll Blow Over in 3 Days and We’ll All Completely Forget Even Happened In A Month

July 15, 2013
Man Just Flew in From Florida and Boy Are His Arms Tired From Shooting Whoever He Wanted

July 10, 2013
Man Down to About 3 People He Actually Enjoys Spending Longer Than 15 Minutes With

July 9, 2013
Taylor Swift Voicemail Message Enters 7th Agonizing Minute

July 8, 2013
Setting Off Fireworks On July 8th Proves Convenient Way For Man To Let Neighbors Know He’s At Least Twenty Thousand Dollars In Debt

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July 8, 2013
Realistic Applebee’s Commercial Shows Collection of Recently Divorced Dads Blankly Staring at Bar’s Televisions

June 7, 2013
Nation to Complain About Government Invading Their Privacy Once They’re Done Telling Everyone Where They Are on Facebook and Showing Everyone What They’re Eating on Instagram

June 7, 2013
Justin Bieber to Boldly Go Where Everyone Wants Him to Stay

May 29, 2013
Man Less Freaked Out He Ate The Bones, More Disturbed He Ate KFC

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May 29, 2013
Pitbull Holds Press Conference to Announce He’s, “Just Not in The Mood to Party”

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